The Broken Ring

To tell the truth. To tell the truth I have a problem with being honest. I sure don’t want to admit it but perhaps if I can admit it other people can feel like they can admit it too. It’s not that I intentionally tell a lie but there are a lot of things I don’t say. I keep my mouth shut because I want to keep the peace. I listen and nod my head. I make sounds that say I’m listening but which could also be interpreted as sounds of agreement. When it’s my turn to talk I think carefully about not saying anything to upset whoever I’m talking to. I so desperately want to keep the peace. I want everyone to think well of me, but at what cost?

“And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:32

It doesn’t sound like there would be a cost. I’m letting everyone have their say and their way. How would that be a problem for them? If I withhold the truth today to spare someone pain they could be hurt by the lie tomorrow. There’s a saying that what you don’t know can’t hurt you. Actually, that’s not true. We can and are hurt by the things we don’t know. It happens a lot. We just didn’t know it was going to hurt us until it did. Maybe even after we get hurt we don’t know what caused the hurt. I’ve gotten very sick from things I didn’t know would hurt me and I didn’t know why I was sick.

I have a ring that’s broken. It’s broken in three places. We tend to think of rings as symbolic of promises. This particular ring is a ring that symbolizes a promise between God and myself. Years ago in Thailand I bought this ring as a reminder that I promise I will go wherever God wants me to go. I truly meant it. I’ve lived in and traveled to different places because I promised God that if He told me to go I would go. I told people about God even though they didn’t believe and chose not to believe. The last place I went to before the ring broke was a city in Central California. I remember I didn’t want to go but God told me very clearly with a scripture that I should go. Specifically He used Matthew 8:20 to let me know that if He could go I could go. I went. It was very hard. The ring was beaten and broken by clapping.

I have been silent. But I’ve been silent since long before the ring was broken. It’s frowned upon and highly discouraged that anyone should talk about God in public, no matter how big a part of my life God may be. I’m not sure how valid it is but I feel like I could lose my job if I talk about God at work. I become so afraid of offending anyone that I don’t tell the truth anymore. I stay silent because I don’t want to hurt anyone today and yet by staying silent I’m causing a problem for them tomorrow. I’m careful not to tell the truth and in doing so I lie.

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a Spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” 2nd Timothy 1:7

Part of me longs to tell the truth but I am timid. I want others to be happy. Yet, I am causing a large problem with my lies. If I don’t tell the truth others may suffer the consequences of not knowing.
Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: “Whom shall I send, And who will go for Us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.” Isaiah 6:8

I have been making more time to listen to God the past few months. You could say God got my attention by being very blunt with me. When I don’t listen I keep getting the same message from God; that I need to listen to Him. After listening God wants me to act in obedience. I should not hide behind fear.

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” John 10:10

The truth is telling the truth matters. The truth is God is real. His words are holy and His words are living. His words bring life. The truth is consequences are real. Live in the truth. Live in the Word of God. It’s hard because I’m afraid of what people think but I want to try to tell the truth more.

After being broken for several year the ring has finally been fixed – March 31st, 2021